Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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