:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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