38 yer olds are good kisserssss
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
