Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
