So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
