On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Houston, we have a squirter
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
