Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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