The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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