its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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