i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
