I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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