Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize