I am spending my child support on dildos
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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