census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
