I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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