those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
