It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
