Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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