ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize