She said her name was "party"
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
