Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
