God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
