Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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