can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
