I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
