Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
