i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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