Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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