You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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