Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
