if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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