Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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