I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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