I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize