She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
