at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
