How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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