i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
