I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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