Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
