I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
