Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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