the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
