chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
