Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize