So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
