who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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