remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
