I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
