Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
