Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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