I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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