Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize