So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
