She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
This is classic penis vs brain.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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