We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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