he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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