I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My dick has a subreddit
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
