I hate all girls vehemently.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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