I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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