Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
