that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
