so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
