Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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