perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
