definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
