I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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