Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Never underestimate the power of titties
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