Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
