just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
