lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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