HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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